Growing up, I don’t recall ever hearing my parents talk about money.  I do remember hearing the phrases “money is the root of all evil,” “money doesn’t grow on trees,” and “the rich get richer, the poor get poorer.” I can’t say I put much thought into it back then, but those phrases still lived inside my head. I just didn’t know they were driving the bus until I hit midlife.

In school, we were taught that unless you went to college, you would never make decent money. That stuck with me, too.

I got pregnant when I was 18 and never went on to college.  I thought I was destined to have dead-end jobs, and that is exactly what I had.  I always had it in my head that I wasn’t smart enough to ever have a ‘career.’  

Things got even harder when I left the ex and needed to forge a path as a single mom. And those beliefs got even stronger.  My entire life, I’ve had nothing but crap jobs — some of them paid well, though — and as I got more work and life experience under my belt, I started to partially let go of the belief that you had to go to college to make a decent living. But I still thought I wasn’t smart enough, that I had nothing to offer anyone — that nobody wants to hear what the uneducated chick has to say.  

Traces of those beliefs still hang around in my head today.  The difference is, now I know they exist.

What Are Limiting Beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are the invisible rules you’ve been living by.  

They’re assumptions or hand-me-down stories you learned from your parents, school, society, or past life experiences that you accept as truths.  They shape how you see yourself, the world, and your place in it. 

Limiting beliefs change how you show up. They can cause you to miss out on or avoid new opportunities. They make you underestimate your skills and strengths, and stay in situations that no longer fit. They cause you to procrastinate or stay stuck. And they make you think that some outcomes are flat-out impossible.

A limiting belief can come from fear, negativity, or a lack of confidence. They run quietly in your subconscious, affecting the choices you make.  You don’t see them as limiting beliefs but as facts, and they become self-reinforcing patterns of thinking rather than objective truths.

But here’s the thing:  Limiting beliefs are not always truths; sometimes they are lies that you’ve been telling yourself.

The good news:  You can kick them to the curb.  You can flip the script and change your perspective on how you’ve been viewing things throughout your life. 

We all have limiting beliefs; the key is to recognize them for what they are: old, worn-out, tired stories that have been holding you back instead of pushing you forward.

Limiting beliefs about money can wreak havoc on midlife women.

Examples of Limiting Beliefs About Money Common in Midlife

Money beliefs can show up in different ways. 

Below are 5 common categories.

Scarcity & Security Beliefs

These beliefs come from years of scraping by, financial responsibility, uncertainty, or past money mistakes.  They can create a feeling that money is unstable or unattainable.

“It’s too late to improve my financial situation.”  

This is the ‘missed the boat’ myth, the idea that if you didn’t start at 25, you’ve already lost the game.

“The economy determines if I am successful.”    

With the ups and downs of the economy and the ever-increasing cost of living, you feel like you don’t really have any control over your money. 

“I have to hold onto every penny because you never know when things are going to fall apart.”  This pops up when you start thinking about retirement and your long-term financial survival.

Worthiness & Identity Beliefs

These beliefs crop up when you link money to who you are as a person and your worth. And if you don’t have money, it often leaves you feeling worthless.

“My value and worth come from supporting others, not my own security.”   

When you’ve spent years being “mom,” it can be hard to put yourself first.

“I don’t deserve financial freedom.”   

You feel that others are more deserving of making good money.

“Wanting more money makes me selfish.”   

This goes back to old conditioning that made you believe that women are here to sacrifice everything for others.

Capability & Financial Confidence Beliefs

We grew up in the era of ‘leave the math to the men,’ and those 80s/90s power dynamics are still haunting our bank accounts.

“I’m not good with money.”   

If you grew up in a household where men were the ‘breadwinners’ and women were the ‘homemakers,’ you might not think it’s your place to know anything about money.

“Investing is risky.”   

If you aren’t familiar with investing, you might have a fear of losing money if you do.

“I should have this figured out years ago.”   

This one brings up feelings of regret and embarrassment about your financial knowledge.

Work, Earning, & Value Beliefs

These beliefs influence how women think about their value at work, their skills and their earning potential.

“I’m too old to start earning money in new ways.”   

The belief that building a career or a new income stream is only for the young.

“I should just be grateful that I have a job.”   

You’ve been conditioned to avoid asking for and wanting more.

“I can’t make money doing something meaningful.”   

A belief that purpose and income can’t coexist.

Responsibility & Visibility Beliefs

Most midlife women have spent decades putting family first, and that has shaped their views about money.

“My money needs should come after everyone else’s.”   

This is you still identifying as ‘mom’ even though your kids are grown adults, forging their own paths.

“Having financial freedom will wreck my relationships.”  

The fear that your relationships might go downhill if you make more money than your partner or your friends.

“It’s safer not to take financial risks.”  

You’re getting up there in years; you should be protecting stability rather than taking a leap.

How To Identify Limiting Beliefs About Money

Ok girl, this is where shit starts to get real. 

The first thing you need to do is start paying attention to your thoughts and words. They’re key to uncovering your limiting beliefs about money.  

Listen for these common absolute words

Always

Never

Everyone

No one

Impossible

None

All

Only

Thoughts framed as absolute truths are more often beliefs rather than objective facts.

Notice what thoughts about yourself are on repeat

If you find yourself constantly thinking things like “I’m no good at that,” or “I can’t do that,”  chances are that’s one of those quiet limiting beliefs trying to run the show.

Pay attention to what you’re always avoiding

It’s not just your thoughts and words where you will find limiting beliefs showing up.  Your behaviors might be masking a belief as well.  What do you actively try to put off?  Financial decisions? Learning a new skill? Conversations about money?  Career growth?  Notice these patterns in your behaviors, they’re hidden signals.

Get curious about strong emotional reactions

If something happens that triggers a strong reaction, like fear, embarrassment, frustration, anger, or whatever it stirs up, it could be highlighting an underlying belief.  For example, if you feel anxiety when you think about talking about money, you might be holding some beliefs about your worth or your competence.

Get real about difficult past experiences and the conclusions you came to

Shit happens, mistakes are made, things don’t always go as planned.  If you went through a tough time in the past, you may have come to an incorrect conclusion about your experience. 

Have you ever said, “I tried that once, and it didn’t pan out.”  Well, girl, you may have drawn a conclusion that since you tried it once, it will never work for you.  Sometimes, taking another look at those old ‘failures’ shines a light on the moment you started lying to yourself.

Ok, now you know what your limiting beliefs about money are. 

Ask yourself these questions:

Where did this belief come from?

Why do I believe it’s true?

Next up, you need to put those money beliefs to the test. 

How To Reframe Limiting Beliefs About Money

Reframing doesn’t mean putting your head in the sand and pretending problems don’t exist.  It means taking a good, hard look at whether the belief is true, helpful, or wildly holding you back. Then you replace it with your new balanced perspective.

Here are a few steps to help you overcome your limiting beliefs.

Separate fact from fiction

What part of your thought is, without a doubt, a fact?  And what part of it is just your theory?

Here’s an example to wrap your head around:

The belief

“I am bad with money.”

The fact

“I made mistakes with money in the past.”

The theory

“I will always suck when it comes to money.”

Noticing the imbalance helps to lessen how certain you are in that belief.

Go on an evidence hunt

Your sneaky limiting beliefs quite often tune out evidence that doesn’t suit them.  

This is the time to dust off your detective hat and go on an evidence hunt.

Ask yourself:

Has this always been true?

Are there any examples that tear it down?

Do other people in a similar situation have success?

Even a small shred of evidence that challenges your belief can open the door to a brand new perspective.

Replace absolutes with possibility

Remember those absolutes from before?  Are you ready to shift those towards possibility?

Limiting belief

“I’ll never get ahead financially.”

Possible reframes

“Improving my finances will take time, but I can make progress one step at a time.”

“I need to do more research; there might be options I haven’t dug into yet.”

This won’t promise a certain outcome, but it will reinforce that change is absolutely possible.

Focus on skills instead of identity

Some of your limiting beliefs will attach your ability to your identity.

Belief

“I don’t know how to manage my money.”

Possible reframes

“Managing my money is a skill I can learn.”

“With practice, I can improve my money habits.”

A small shift moves you from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.

Replace certainty with curiosity

Instead of thinking of your belief as final, treat it as what it is — one perspective.   

“What would happen if this belief isn’t entirely 100% true?”

“What small step could I take to test out a different possibility?”

By getting curious, you’re opening the door for new experiences and new opportunities. That can help shut down your old, worn-out belief.

Reframing your beliefs doesn’t instantly change your life or your circumstances.  But what it does is change how you view possibilities and how you approach your decisions.

It changes how you show up.

When you shift your beliefs from “girl, this is impossible”  to “if I take the right approach, girl, you might just pull this off.”

Your Next Chapter Is Unwritten

The truth is, most of us have been lugging around money stories for decades. Stories about what we deserve, what we’re capable of, and what’s possible for us financially.

But those stories don’t have to be permanent. Once you start noticing them, questioning them, and testing them against reality, they begin to lose their grip.

It isn’t always easy to squash your beliefs.  I’m 53, and I’m still a work in progress. Some of those old-money stories still pop into my head from time to time.  But the difference now is I don’t automatically believe them.  I’ve realized that being a “rebel” in midlife isn’t just about dyeing your hair or quitting a job—it’s about refusing to believe the old stories that say you’ve reached your expiry date.

If you’re ready to unfuck your mind and start busting through limiting beliefs, there are steps you can take today to challenge the stories that keep you stuck.

You can also subscribe to my newsletter for more straight-talk strategies on rebuilding confidence, reclaiming your identity, and creating a life that actually feels like yours again.

Now, I want to hear from you.  What is one money belief lie you’ve officially kicked to the curb? Or which one is currently giving you the most grief? Drop a comment below—let’s talk about it.