Have you ever heard that annoying nagging voice?  You know, the one that shows up at the worst possible times (like when stepping outside of your comfort zone, or when you’re feeling uncertain, or about to do something badass).  The one that whispers, “Girl, you can’t do that,” or “Who do you think you are, you have no business doing that!”  Maybe it’s the one that natters, “It’s too late for you, you’re past your prime,” or “You will never pull that off, you’re too old.”  Ouch! 

That inner voice of limiting beliefs can be so annoying, dangerous, and downright maddening, right? It keeps you stuck, playing small, and second-guessing every brilliant idea that pops into your head.

It’s subtle.  Familiar.  And oh-so-sabotaging.

But here’s the thing, sister: that voice is lying to you. It’s a lying lurker living in your mind, causing all kinds of sh*t, and here’s the kicker: they aren’t even paying rent!  

You need to stop those lying lurkers in their tracks, and start showing them the door with unapologetic spunk.

You, my friend, are about to become a sleuth of your own mind. Consider this post your lurkers eviction notice.

What Are Limiting Beliefs Anyway?  – Get to Know Those Lying Lurkers

First, let me be clear: limiting beliefs are NOT truths.  

They’re simply old, tired, worn-out, dusty stories that you have convinced yourself are true.

Think of them as advice you never asked for but are somehow running the show – they come from your past, from society, or, even worse, from someone else’s past – an ex, a parent, that cranky teacher from 5th grade. 

Limiting beliefs are narratives that hold you back and keep you trapped in that small, cramped, uncomfortable box.

Think of them as lies your inner critic tells you. Here are a few you probably recognize:

• “I’m too old to start something new.”
• “I’m not smart enough/creative enough/disciplined enough.”
• “I always f*ck things up.”
• “It’s too late for me to change.”
• “I don’t deserve success/happiness/that thing I really want (and deserve).”
• “What will people think?”

Let’s call them out for what they really are – lies that make a hell of a lot of noise.

The first step to shutting them down is to notice when they show up and shut them the hell up.

3 Signs You Have Limiting Beliefs (We All Have Them)

So, how do you know when a limiting belief is calling the shots? There are clues your life leaves.  You need to tune in and catch them in the act. Here’s how:

The Freeze Button

You have an awesome idea, a burning desire, a clear path forward, and then…nothing. You want to move forward, but you are stuck, frozen, unable to move.  You become an expert procrastinator (boy, have I been here, more times than I can – or want to, count).  No matter what you try, you just can’t take that first step, even though you desperately want/need to.  

That’s a limiting belief, one of those lying lurkers, hitting your freeze button, whispering, “It’s too risky,” or “You are going to fail.”

You may not hear the words, but your body knows, and reacts accordingly – by, you guessed it,  freezing.

The Self-Sabotage Loop

Do you find yourself hitting the same wall? Or quitting right before the finish line? Picking a fight when things are going hunky dory?  Do you create chaos for no reason and have no idea why?

That’s a lying lurker, sister,  a limiting belief telling you, “You aren’t worthy of this,” or “You can’t handle success.”

It can stop you dead in your tracks, because somewhere deep down, you believe it.

The Excuse Machine

Full of excuses?  You want to start that business, write that book, take that trip, quit that job, or just simply find your joy.  Instead, you come up with excuse after excuse why you can’t do any of it.  Your excuses most likely feel logical, but, sister,  they aren’t.  Here are some common excuses you have probably heard before:

• I don’t have enough time, I’m too busy
• The kids need me
• My partner won’t understand or support me
• Now isn’t the right time. I’ll start once I…. (fill in the blank)

Sure, some of these might have a grain of truth, but an overactive excuse machine is often a sign of a lying lurker creating those oh-so convenient roadblocks to seemingly protect you from failure or discomfort.

Sound familiar?

Are you noticing these excuses in your life?

Good, that means you are becoming a master sleuth.  Once you start noticing these lurkers, you can start stripping them of their power and taking back your worth.

“Sometimes the most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves.”

Here’s the rebel truth: If you can name the pattern, you can change the belief.

Whose Voice Is That, Anyway? The Lying Lurkers Origin Story

Here’s the thing: most limiting beliefs are seldom your original thoughts. Most likely, you inherited that BS.  These lurkers often move in during childhood.  You absorbed messages from parents, teachers, friends, heck, even the cartoons you used to watch.  They could stem from past failures that you let define you, or from not-so-subtle societal messages that told you to be small and unseen.

Understanding where these beliefs came from is like seeing the wizard behind the curtain. It helps you detach from them because you realize: this isn’t mine. It’s an old story someone else wrote, and you’ve been living it.

Ask yourself, whose voice is this?:

Is it your 5th-grade teacher who embarrassed you in front of the class?

Is it one (or both) parents who thought that they were “just being realistic?”

Or maybe it’s a toxic boss or job that sees no wrong in burning you the hell out?

Here’s the inspiring part – once you realize it isn’t yours, you can boot its ass out.

Your Rebel Reflection:

• What’s one limiting belief you’ve had for as long as you can remember?
• Can you trace its whispered beginning? Who first told you that story, directly or indirectly?
• What would your life look like if you refused to believe it anymore?
• Is it serving you – or taking up space?

Permission granted to break free from inherited BS. It’s time to remember who you were before the world tried to tell you who to be.

“You are not what broke you, you are what walked through the fire and survived.”

How to Reframe Your Limiting Beliefs

Ok, so you can single out those lying lurkers, but now what?

Congrats, by the way!

That is your first badass step. 

Now let’s expose them for what they are – a nattering voice telling you lies.  And, honestly,  who said we had to listen in the first place? 

Here are a few examples to get you going:

1. “I’m not good enough.

Reframe: “I am learning, growing, and showing up—and that’s more than enough.”

2. “It’s too late for me.”

Reframe: “It’s never too late to begin again. My past prepared me for this moment.”

3. “I’m not smart/experienced/qualified enough.”

Reframe: “I have a unique voice and perspective—and that’s powerful.”

4. “People will judge me if I try.”

Reframe: “People may judge me—and that’s okay. I’m not here to please everyone.”

5. “I’m too old to start something new.”

Reframe: “My age is my power—every year has sharpened my perspective, resilience, and creativity. I’m just getting started.”

6. “Midlife is the beginning of the end.”

Reframe: “Midlife is the beginning of my most powerful, purposeful, kickass chapter yet.”

“There is something worse than failing – the regret of not trying!”

Recognizing them is the first step, but the true magic happens when you start practicing reframing limiting beliefs. When you spot one, immediately challenge it by asking yourself:

• Is this even true?
• How do you know?
• Where the heck did it come from?
• Is it negatively impacting my life?
• How can I challenge this belief?

Pulling Back the Curtain

Limiting beliefs lose their power once exposed.  

You don’t have to take them on all at once. Just start by seeing them for what they are. Be aware of them and the lies they tell,  then work on kicking their asses out the door, one by one. Sorry not sorry

You are a badass, unapologetic midlife woman. Don’t ever forget that!

You don’t need fixing, you just need to do some cleanup. Out with the lies so you can start living your truth.

Ready to go deeper? 

Snag my Limiting Belief Buster Workbook now! This isn’t just a workbook; it’s your ultimate toolkit for shattering those mental blocks, decoding the clues your soul’s been whispering for years, and taking back your power. These aren’t just journal prompts. They’re the keys to your second-chapter uprising. This isn’t about reinvention. It’s about remembering the beautiful soul that you are.  It’s about remembering and honouring your power, your voice, your truth.

Never forget – this is YOUR life, not your bosses, your partners, or society’s.  You get to make the rules, nobody else.  

You are the only you on the planet, and we need you to show up unapologetically and authentically YOU!

What’s one lying limiting belief you’re determined to spot (and cut off at the knees!) today? Share your thoughts in the comments below!