Have you ever felt stressed, frustrated, exhausted, overwhelmed, or just fucking done?  Not sure what to do to come out on the other side?  My friend, you’re not the only one.

Whether it’s a job that demands too much of your time and energy, caring for aging parents, or driving your kids to their endless activities, we’ve all been there.  We’re all trying our damn best to keep ourselves sane in this crazy, chaotic thing we call life. 

But sometimes it can feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day, and we’re running on empty, trying to hold it all together. We know we can’t keep this up forever.

We know something needs to change, but self-care can sound really good on paper until you’re trying to figure out when the hell you’re supposed to fit it into your actual life.

Self-care doesn’t need to take hours, and it doesn’t require spending money that you don’t have. Just a few minutes a day can help more than you think, and it doesn’t need to break the bank. 

Self-care is important, and it most definitely isn’t selfish!

Why Real Self-Care Is Important (And Most Advice Doesn’t Cut It)

Let me start by saying, I view self-care a bit differently than a lot of what self-help blogs have to offer.  Yes, self-care is about taking care of yourself in healthy ways, but sometimes you also need to throw caution to the wind a little and just do something that helps you decompress. 

Sure, lighting a candle or writing a heartfelt letter to yourself can help, but not always.

There’s no one “right” way to do self-care. 

The main reason self-care is important is that, let’s be honest here, you’re no good to anyone when your tank is empty. You might think you can keep juggling it all, but my friend, you know it’s only a matter of time before you’ve got nothing left to give to your job, your family, and, most importantly, yourself.

Maybe you’re sick of hearing about self-care because it’s been packaged into something that feels unrealistic, completely disconnected from real life, or like another chore you need to get done. 

The goal isn’t perfection; it’s finding what actually helps you decompress and reset. Just keep moderation in mind, and if you struggle with things like drinking, overspending, or overeating, don’t use those as your go-to coping mechanisms. 

When we are planning our self-care, some of the benefits we should be shooting for are:

• Lower stress
• Less burnout
• More energy
• Better mental and physical health
• More joy in your day-to-day life 
• Feeling more like yourself again

There are different types of self-care, and you might feel depleted in one area more than another.  Once you know what your main areas are, you can plan your self-care accordingly.

5 Main Types Of Self-Care

You might have one type that requires more attention, or you might need to focus on a few.  It depends on what kind of bullshit you got going on in your life. Only you know the answer to what’s actually going to benefit you.  

Emotional

Feel what you’re feeling, the good, the bad, the ugly; it’s the only way to move past the bad shit.  Don’t let your negative emotions keep you stuck in a never-ending spiral.  Is it easy?  Hell no.  Is it worth it?  Hell yes.  

Mental

Your brain needs care, too.  Keep learning, thinking, questioning, and challenging the way you see yourself and your life. Mental self-care can completely change the way you see yourself and what you believe you’re capable of. 

Physical

Get up, get moving.  Use your body, fuel it with healthy food, and get your zzzz’s in.  It will help you feel better overall and give you more energy to do the things you really have no desire to do.  You only get one body, so get out there and use it.

Spiritual

This is the kind of self-care that feeds the deeper parts of you.  Not everyone is religious, and you don’t need to be.  Spiritual self-care is really about connection, meaning, hope, and whatever makes you feel grounded in something bigger than your day-to-day stress.

Relationships

Most of us need connection, even if sometimes, we pretend we don’t.  When we put in the work to maintain and grow our relationships, we tend to feel happier, seen and heard.  

Those are the big ones, but other parts of life can affect how depleted or balanced you feel, too. 

Other types of self-care:

Work: Jobs can be stressful, demanding, and draining, especially when you aren’t feeling that job anymore. Set goals for your career and don’t forget to set boundaries when you need to.

Educational: Embrace the love of learning.  Take that course you’ve been eyeing up, learn a new skill or hobby.  Or maybe just commit to learning something new every day—it doesn’t have to be big or time-consuming, it can be as simple as learning a new word. 

Money: Don’t spend money on things you really don’t need. Easier said than done, I know, but it will reduce the stress you feel about your money situation.  Money stress can drain the hell out of you, so even small steps toward feeling more in control financially can make a difference.

Remember, self-care isn’t a one-and-done thing.  It works best when it becomes part of how you live, not just something you do when you’re already burnt out.   

Even a couple of minutes can help when you’re stretched for time. The goal is to do something that genuinely helps you in the moment, even if it’s not always considered “healthy.” 

You don’t need to keep trying to squish yourself into a box that you don’t fit in.  

So, how do you actually start when your life already feels overloaded? 

How To Get The Self-Care Ball Rolling

Start small!  Trying to do too much when you don’t have the time, the energy, or the brain power is defeating the purpose of self-care.  The point isn’t to add stress by trying to do more than you have the bandwidth for.  If you have two minutes to spare, then roll with that. 

Figure out what you actually need most right now.  Take an inventory of your life and the areas that are dragging you down. Figure out where you need to start, and plan to give it your best effort to get it done.

Mix it up.  Don’t keep doing the same things day after day.  Let your day and your mood decide what you need in that moment.

Make it a priority when you can. Pencil it into your schedule if it helps, but don’t turn self-care into another thing you beat yourself up over.

Expect shit to get in the way.  Self-care doesn’t have to be deep, perfect, or life-changing every single day. Sometimes it’s just about doing one thing that helps you feel a little more like you again. 

Look, you only get one life and one body. Stop waiting for the chaos to clear up before you start taking care of yourself.

The goal isn’t to build a perfect life where stress never touches you. The goal is learning how to take care of yourself while living a real life — one that’s messy, demanding, unpredictable, and sometimes completely exhausting.

Small acts of self-care matter more than you think.

Tools to help you get started today:

• Grab my free 100 Self-Care Ideas list to get your inspiration flowing. 
• Or, if you want to make it less of a chore, check out the Self-Care Bingo Card  I created (it includes bonus daily affirmations to help keep your head in the game).

I want to hear from you: What does “unhealthy” self-care look like for you when you just need to drop the filters? Are you a junk food fan or a trash-TV binger? Leave a comment below!

And if you’re tired of the usual fluff and want honest conversations about growth, burnout, mindset, and rebuilding yourself in real life, sign up for my newsletter, and let’s help each other kick some serious ass in our next chapter.

Now get out there and have some fun.