The older we get, the easier it is to look back on our life and have some regrets, which sometimes leads us to say to ourselves, “Shit, I feel like I’ve wasted my life.”  

I’ve noticed that now that I am in my 50’s, I spend more time reflecting on the choices I made in the past.  It can get me down at times and leave me feeling like I wasted my life.   

But then I give my head a shake, say to myself, “Come on, Tracy, you know that isn’t entirely true.” 

The more I drill down, the more I can see that my entire life hasn’t been a waste, just parts of it.  

If only we had the life experience and wisdom we have now when we were young, fresh, and full of dreams for the future. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. 

What Is A Wasted Life? (How You Fall Into The Trap)

In a nutshell, when you catch yourself saying, “I feel like I’ve wasted my life,” it usually means you’re feeling dissatisfaction, regret, or that your life has stalled out on you in one way or another.

You may feel that you failed at reaching your potential, that you aren’t living as authentically as you’d like to be, or that you aren’t making a meaningful and impactful contribution to yourself or society in general. 

There are a few main reasons why you might be feeling like you wasted your life:

You don’t actually know what you want or feel that you should be further ahead

It’s hard to feel excited about your life when you don’t know where you’re trying to go. When you’re stuck in the same old boring routine, have no clue what you want your future to look like, or don’t know who you really are and what you actually want, it’s easy to think that you’ve wasted years of your life.  

You spend your days living for other people

When you spend your days turning your back on your values and dreams to keep that good-paying job you hate or stay in that toxic relationship, or are constantly chasing validation from other people, it can weigh you down over the years and make you feel like you wasted your life.  

You feel frozen with fear or regret

Life is hard! When you’re scared shitless of stepping into the unknown, spend too much time trying to be perfectly perfect or have made some not-so-stellar decisions in the past, it can stop you from moving forward. The older you get, the more it builds up until one day you say to yourself, “I’ve wasted so much time.” 

You spend too much time on mindless shit

When you spend hours aimlessly scrolling through social media or binge-watching all the latest hit shows, you can start to feel completely and utterly unproductive. You might start thinking that maybe you should be spending more time working on yourself, instead of wasting time watching shit that gets you nowhere—fast.

While all of these things can make you feel like you’ve wasted your life, that doesn’t necessarily mean your entire life has been a waste. 

Have I Wasted My Life? (Probably Not)

As I mentioned earlier, my entire life hasn’t been a waste, just bits and pieces of it. For me, the biggest regret in my life has been all the wasted years working at jobs that got me absolutely fucking nowhere.  

I wasted so much time bending over backwards, trying to be a valuable employee, hoping to get ahead in life.  Over the years, and a couple of bad jobs, I really started to feel like I wasted my time and energy on people who didn’t really give a shit about me or my life.  I should have followed my dream 10 years ago, instead of continuing to work my ass off for someone else to get rich. 

There’s a lot of shit that wasn’t a waste, though: my kids, my life away from work, my family, the people who have come into my life—whether they stayed or not—and the lessons and wisdom I’ve gained along the way. 

So no,  I can’t say I have wasted my life; I just wasted years of my life on jobs and bosses that weren’t worth it.

You likely haven’t wasted your entire life either, even though it can certainly feel that way sometimes, especially when you’re stuck in that mindset.

When you ask yourself, “Have I wasted my life?” take a full inventory of your life, and you’ll start to see all the kickass things you’ve built, experienced, and learned along the way. Then start thinking about how you can change the things in your life that actually do waste your time, your energy, your life. 

How To Fix A Wasted Life (It’s Not Too Late)

The good news is that realizing something isn’t working is the first step toward changing it. 

Once you know what needs to change, it’s time to start figuring shit out. That sounds simple enough, but real change requires effort. You have to want something different badly enough to do something about it.

So where do you start?

Make peace with your life choices

Give yourself some slack.  There isn’t a single person who hasn’t made a wrong decision; most likely, you have made multiple wrong choices, some aren’t on the level of a wasted life, they’re just wrong choices, plain and simple.  Others can sit deep within, like my regret that I gave too much of myself to jobs that essentially got me nowhere; I’m okay with that.  I know better now what I want, what I will put up with and what I won’t.  I take from it the wisdom I gained.

Figure out what the hell you actually want

It isn’t always easy to figure out what you want, but it’s so worth it to put in some time figuring that shit out.  If you don’t know what that is, then start with digging into self-discovery and personal growth.  Do you know what your values are and where your strengths lie?  Maybe this is your cue to follow that dream you’ve had for years and finally put it into motion. I really started thinking about what I wanted once I hit 50. If you’re feeling off in midlife, don’t think of it as a crisis; think of it as your awakening.

Start living for you, not everyone else

Start saying ‘hell no’ to the things that are dragging you down and making you feel like you’ve wasted your life. If you aren’t feeling your current job, maybe the money is good, but the job is toxic, or you have a bad boss, consider a career change.  Maybe you’ve been sticking around in a relationship that lost its spark years ago; you don’t need to stay stuck.  It’s not too late to reinvent yourself and live life on your terms. And if people tell you you’re too old, or that it won’t work out, don’t take it to heart, get out there and show them what you’re capable of.

Push through your fear, get out of your head

Learn from your mistakes.  Say yes to new opportunities.  Embrace the unknown. And if your inner voice is whispering lies in your head, tell it to zip it.  Sure, it’s hard, but it just might be the thing you need to do to make it all worth it.  Life will always have hard times, that’s a given.  It’s scary not knowing what the future holds, and there will be things that happen that will make you question everything. When those times hit, and you start second-guessing your next move, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”  Then turn around and ask, “What’s the best thing that could happen?”

Get off the couch and do something

Getting shit done, even when it’s just a small thing, makes you feel productive, like you’ve accomplished something.  Put down your phone, shut off your TV, and get tackling something that’s been bugging you.  Start small if you need to. Unclutter one drawer in your kitchen, clean up that messy corner, or cut your grass.  You’ll feel better once you get into a groove.  I rarely ever want to cut the grass, but I am always happy when I do get out there and get it done. Make sure you keep your momentum going. Little by little, you will shift from “I wasted so much time,”  to “Look at all I have done!”

Still Feeling Like You Wasted Your Life?

If you made it to the end and you’re still feeling like your life is just one big waste, or that there are too many areas where you feel like you’ve wasted so much time, here’s a tip: don’t try to tackle them all at once.  You’re just going to overwhelm yourself, and that is a surefire way to not change a damn thing. 

Take it slow. 

You don’t have to change everything overnight.  Decide what the most important areas are that need an overhaul right now.  There isn’t a timeline; it might take a month, a year, or maybe even longer.  Don’t focus on the when, focus on the how. Figure out what the fuck you’re going to do about it.  Devise your plan.  Take small steps towards it.  

Maybe you wasted some years. Maybe you stayed too long, played it too safe, or gave too much of yourself to people, jobs, or situations that weren’t worth it.

But that’s not the same thing as wasting your life.

You’re still here. You still have choices. You still have time to make different ones.

The past is done and gone. What matters now is what you do with whatever time you have left.

What’s one area of your life you’re no longer willing to waste time on? Let me know in the comments. 

If you’re questioning your next chapter, trying to figure out what you actually want, or ready to stop sleepwalking through life, join my newsletter. Every couple of weeks, I’ll share personal growth tools, real-life insights, and reminders that you have more choices—and more power—than you think.